The Sound of Silence
In hit movie Precious, a story of abuse, Monique plays Precious’ mother and delivers in a powerful scene that comes near the end. In this scene she confesses to a caseworker played by Mariah Carey that she didn’t want her boyfriend to abuse daughter Precious; yet by her own admission, it happened because he, in essence, ordered her to shut her “fat a _ _” up when she questioned his actions and she did.
While I find the mother’s own abuse appalling, it’s her complacency towards the boyfriend’s actions that disturbed me the most. Through her silence, she allowed a relationship not worth having to take precedence over her daughter’s well being, and the damage done as a result of it was devistating.
How she got to that moment is probably not all her fault, since she, herself, was more than likely abused. What resulted from the choice she made, however, was. Therefore, she is not excused. Standing on the sideline doesn’t make you innocent; and what you ignore can hurt you, as well as the ones you love. The boyfriend played on her insecurities, silence prevailed and fear won. Had she chosen to speak, perhaps they both might have overcome.
January 5th, 2010 at 12:35 am
That was, indeed, a disturbing scene. And I think I would have felt the slightest bit of empathy for her…if she hadn’t tried to justify the sexual abuse she inflicted upon Precious with a pitiful, “Who was gone love me? Who was gone make ME feel good?”
January 5th, 2010 at 1:01 am
The movie definitely touched on issues of abuse that still exist for many young girls.
January 5th, 2010 at 2:02 am
Karen,
This entry is very insightful and saddening. However it only confirms for me that this is a movie I don’t want to see. Just reading about it sickens me. I know terrible and cruel things happen to people everyday, I just don’t want to see or hear about it.
Peace
Kim
January 5th, 2010 at 7:17 am
I feel you, Nariscia. Even when a person has been damaged, as Precious’ mother obviously had, I believe something in them can still recognize the wrong in their actions at some point. I don’t think this woman was ready to face it.
January 5th, 2010 at 7:19 am
Pittershawn
Unfortunately, you are right. This is the fate some girls live with even today. That’s why it’s more important than ever to bring it out into the open. To keep it on downlow would be a license to let it continue.
January 5th, 2010 at 7:25 am
Kim
I can truly understand your objections to this movie. I debated whether I would watch it myself. It was only after I read Tyler Perry’s email, which talked about some of the abuse he suffered, that I decided to see it. It was every bit of horrible I could have imagined.
January 6th, 2010 at 6:35 pm
What disturbes me is how prevalent physical abuse really is. What disturbs me even more, is that it continues to be huge problem because of women like her who have no self-esteem, and a distorted perception of self-preservation at the cost of her child’s well-being. Now, what makes me even more disturbed is people minding their own business! Yep, people minding there own business and looking the other way when they know that a child (theirs or someone else’s) is being abused. I believe the more we get involved, the more children can be helped out of these situations. The more we all speak up against physical abuse, the greater the chance the children will realize that this isn’t a normal and acceptable way of life. If it makes us feel uncomfortable or “threatened” to get involved, that’s understandable. But to sit and do nothing … that’s inexcusable.
January 6th, 2010 at 11:10 pm
You make a good point, Debbie. EVERYONE needs to speak up.
January 7th, 2010 at 12:15 am
I haven’t seen the movie, but I’ve heard about it. I’ve read several autobiographies written by abused people. I was in an abusive situation. I tried to stick it out, because I didn’t want to go through the shame of divorce again, but my children didn’t want me to leave him. It came to the point that I refused to allow any more physical, verbal, or emotional abuse to any of us. I got us out of there as quickly as I could. I still feel guilt that I didn’t get out sooner and that we all bear the scars of staying with him for 13 years.
January 7th, 2010 at 12:56 am
Pam
People stay in abusive relationships for all kinds of reasons. When you really love someone, it’s hard to go. When you have deep convictions, it’s hard to betray them. And sometimes you just don’t want to be lonely or you think you can’t do any better. I believe Precious’ mother’s reason was more of the latter. But whatever the reason, the price doesn’t seem worth paying for, especially when someone else, like a child, is paying with you, and especially to the degree presented in the movie. Very happy that you and your children are okay.
January 10th, 2010 at 6:08 pm
I agree completely, Karen. It’s hard to understand, unless you’ve gone through it yourself. We have to remember that if someone truly loves and cares for you, they won’t hurt you.
January 11th, 2010 at 7:50 pm
Diane
Thanks for your comment.
January 13th, 2010 at 3:07 pm
I haven’t seen the movie and I don’t think I’m really interested in seeing it. Sadly, there are some women who choose to put a man over their child. It doesn’t make any sense to me but I guess that’s the reality of part of the world we live in.
A really good person to talk to about abuse is fellow Diva, Jaisun, who wrote her own book about it. Even celebrities go through “stuff” like that.