While I find the mother’s own abuse appalling, it’s her complacency towards the boyfriend’s actions that disturbed me the most.  Through her silence, she allowed a relationship not worth having to take precedence over her daughter’s well being, and the damage done as a result of it was devistating.

How she got to that moment is probably not all her fault, since she, herself, was more than likely abused.  What resulted from the choice she made, however, was.  Therefore, she is not excused.  Standing on the sideline doesn’t make you innocent; and what you ignore can hurt you, as well as the ones you love.  The boyfriend played on her insecurities, silence prevailed and fear won.  Had she chosen to speak, perhaps they both might have overcome.

In October I identified one when I stepped off the elevator of the visitors’ bureau in my town and noticed a camera crew taping a promotion for the city.  Curiousity got me noticed.  But it was the chit-chat which followed that got me invited into the piece.  Because time was a factor, we improvised.  And one take later I was being recognized on the street.

I could have conducted my business in the bureau and been on my way.  Instead, I chose to smile and be friendly and a moment that cost me nothing paid me.  Who knows where it might lead? 

Louie was right.  Opportunities are out there.  We just have to pay attention to see them.

Click on the link to see the clip:    

http://www.friendoflou.com/whos-a-friend-of-lou/

While I can’t personally relate to what he shared, my own mountains have taught me a lot about gratitude.  But it doesn’t take a mountain to make one grateful.  Gratitude is the way you feel when favor has been bestowed upon you, and you can get that feeling even from simple things.         

Thanksgiving is one of the best holidays of the year because, food aside, there’s no particular way to celebrate it and there are no gifts to buy.  Pure love doesn’t need the fluff.  A grateful heart  is all that’s required. 

I hope as you gathered around your Thanksgiving Day table you were reminded of what makes you grateful, that you thanked God for your blessings, and that you shared your appreciation with the ones who love you.

Had she not looked so cute in them, I would have understood her despair.  But I was paying a hairdresser to create age-appropriate styles for her, and the look was very becoming.  It didn’t matter that others agreed.  The compliments weren’t coming from those she was trying to please.  I could only conclude she would rather look crazy without the braids than suffer the disapproval of her friends.  I took them out, and a week later put them back in.  By then she was ready to wear them.

It would have been nice if my daughter had never suffered the breakage and was able to wear her own hair, like her friends were able to.  But life happens, and she has learned, in the words of Mic Jagger, that “You can’t always get what you want, but if you try…you get what you need.”  She has also learned that, while what others think might matter, what she thinks of herself matters more.  Her hair, by the way, is thick and healthy again.  And, yes, at least for now, she is still wearing the braids.      

He also gave me a contact–the name of a R&R rep at Virgin Records–whom I pitched one of my unrecorded songs to by singing it over the phone.  He liked it, told me to record it, and said he would get back to me.  But, once the excitement wore off, worry over a floundering budget and uncertainty over a call-back set in.  So, needless to say, when he called me back about three months later, I had nothing.  And there went my opportunity. 

At the time I thought a lack of money had stolen my dream.  But, while money was a factor, there were two other things I needed more–passion and faith.  Passion wouldn’t have let me quit.  Faith would have kept me from wanting to.

Since then I have learned that dreams live and grow according to our belief in them.  Yes, they take time, and we don’t specifically know how or when they will materialize.  But the alternative (doing nothing) means they never will.  So why do we keep asking ”How can I?” when the question is ”How can I not?”  The lesson is simple.  Don’t quit.