While I can’t personally relate to what he shared, my own mountains have taught me a lot about gratitude.  But it doesn’t take a mountain to make one grateful.  Gratitude is the way you feel when favor has been bestowed upon you, and you can get that feeling even from simple things.         

Thanksgiving is one of the best holidays of the year because, food aside, there’s no particular way to celebrate it and there are no gifts to buy.  Pure love doesn’t need the fluff.  A grateful heart  is all that’s required. 

I hope as you gathered around your Thanksgiving Day table you were reminded of what makes you grateful, that you thanked God for your blessings, and that you shared your appreciation with the ones who love you.

Of course, this sometimes touchy subject has been on-going in the black community, and is even one of the poem stories in my book.  The uniqueness of our hair alone can generate interesting conversation.  But the real discussion is and always has been about the stigma attached to it, as well as our lamentations over what we can’t control.

What seems to be different now is that today’s black woman has stopped listening to the negativity, and I find this new “it is what it is” attitude refreshing.  How empowering to be able to embrace our hair and regard it as no more than the accessory it is to unapologetically straight or unashamedly natural tell the world who we want to be.  You go, my sistahs.  You go.

Sometimes they are blessings in disguise.  Just ask Melissa Rycroft.  She’s the woman Jason Mesnick became engaged to on reality show The Bachelor, only to be embarrassed by him a few days later when he changed his mind in favor of runner up Molly Malaney.  Mesnick’s “mistake” gave Rycroft enough notoriety to claim a spot on Dancing with the Stars (another reality show) where she danced her way to a finalist spot.  I hear she even rekindled love with her former beau to whom she is now happily engaged.

Mistakes are great teachers, too.  Judge Joe Brown testifies in the introduction to his court reality show Judge Joe Brown that it was his bad behavior (or mistakes) that led to the fork in the road which changed his future.  According to him, he has his mistakes to thank for the position he now holds.  Granted, there are easier ways to learn, but, for those who take that path, the results can be very effective. 

Mistakes summon strength.  I’m sure the Mickey Mouse Club audition rejection Jessica Simpson met at the start of her career left her wondering what went wrong.  The loss of a big opportunity can be crushing, if not devastating.  But, rather than waddle in her defeat, she chose to get better prepared; and when opportunity knocked again, she walked through another door.

And mistakes narrow the choices.  The best decisions aren’t easily seen when in the midst of too many others.  That’s when the process of elimination can be helpful.  I’m sure we all have a story to tell involving a few trial and error moments when discovering what worked was as simple as crossing off what didn’t.

Of course, the goal is to minimize mistakes.  After all, it’s the victor who takes the spoils.  But since we know mistakes are inevitable, it would behoove us to know how to master them.

I grew up with Michael Jackson.  We were born in the same year; and our age and humble beginnings made me feel a connection to him that caused me to be especially proud of his trailblazing accomplishments in the music industry, as well as his humanitarian efforts around the world.  I’ve been equally impressed by his longevity.  He was gifted, not lucky.

It hurt me when the child molestation alligations were brought against him (which I never believed for a minute).  But it hurt even more when, despite his acquittal, the media nor the general public would allow his former life to return to what it once was.  So I find it ironic that his death came on the eve of the musical comeback he both nervously anticipated and desperately needed to restore his legacy and resolve his financial woes.  It turns out through death he is giving the best concert of his lifetime, and his merchandise is flying off the shelves.  God moves in mysterious ways.  He will have his rightful place in history afterall and as it should be. 

God bless you, Michael.  You will be missed.  May you rest in peace.

Had she not looked so cute in them, I would have understood her despair.  But I was paying a hairdresser to create age-appropriate styles for her, and the look was very becoming.  It didn’t matter that others agreed.  The compliments weren’t coming from those she was trying to please.  I could only conclude she would rather look crazy without the braids than suffer the disapproval of her friends.  I took them out, and a week later put them back in.  By then she was ready to wear them.

It would have been nice if my daughter had never suffered the breakage and was able to wear her own hair, like her friends were able to.  But life happens, and she has learned, in the words of Mic Jagger, that “You can’t always get what you want, but if you try…you get what you need.”  She has also learned that, while what others think might matter, what she thinks of herself matters more.  Her hair, by the way, is thick and healthy again.  And, yes, at least for now, she is still wearing the braids.      

He also gave me a contact–the name of a R&R rep at Virgin Records–whom I pitched one of my unrecorded songs to by singing it over the phone.  He liked it, told me to record it, and said he would get back to me.  But, once the excitement wore off, worry over a floundering budget and uncertainty over a call-back set in.  So, needless to say, when he called me back about three months later, I had nothing.  And there went my opportunity. 

At the time I thought a lack of money had stolen my dream.  But, while money was a factor, there were two other things I needed more–passion and faith.  Passion wouldn’t have let me quit.  Faith would have kept me from wanting to.

Since then I have learned that dreams live and grow according to our belief in them.  Yes, they take time, and we don’t specifically know how or when they will materialize.  But the alternative (doing nothing) means they never will.  So why do we keep asking ”How can I?” when the question is ”How can I not?”  The lesson is simple.  Don’t quit.